Conflicts arise in every relationship. It’s inevitable, regardless of how much love or respect people have for each other. Managing conflict is important to keep relationships strong. Sometimes, it’s easier said than done. Most importantly, don’t undertake tough talks when you are hungry, angry, lonely, or tired (HALT). Stop and take care of your basic needs before addressing the conflict.
Another strategy to manage conflict is to utilize HALT, and take a few deep breaths. Taking a short break can support you with resetting your thoughts and emotions. Revisit the conflict when you’ve had a chance to reflect and reset.
Being heard is vital in all relationships. Try practicing active and reflective listening. Think about the other person’s perspective. Reflect on what that means to you and communicate it to them clearly. Showing you are actively listening and understanding their perspective, can defuse tension and resolve conflict.
Open communication is key. Talk about how you feel with “I” statements, focus on the issue, not the person, and use specific language instead of absolutes (e.g., “never” or “always”). You can’t defuse conflict if you are focusing on what the other person did, not communicating how it made you feel. With communication, together you can find solutions. Try discussing ways to prevent this conflict from arising again.
By itself, conflict is not a negative thing. It’s a natural part of relationships. If managed appropriately, it can build trust, strengthen relationships, and move things forward. The difference between moving forward and staying stuck is a matter of not what you say – but how you say it.