For many veterans, talking about their problems is hard. Asking for help is harder. Finding answers can seem impossible.
And that means that their families, friends, and coworkers need to develop the right kind of listening skills to really hear what their loved ones are trying to communicate.
We’ve all zoned out on car rides. We’ve all realized our spouse is talking and we haven’t heard a word they are saying. We’ve all listened to a coworker but are really thinking of our response before the person finishes. We’ve all been in uncomfortable situations, so we interrupt to avoid confronting someone else’s pain.
There’s a better way.
While therapists and counselors have honed their listening skills and are trained to ask the right questions, most of us need help developing the skills to really hear what the other person is trying to tell us.
When someone asks a question, make sure to listen to understand. Ask questions. Don’t feel like you must respond immediately. But always be sure to let the person know you’ve fully heard what they are saying – and that you care.
Being heard – really listened to – is one of the most important ways to create connections. For veterans, who value their independence and stoicism, reaching out can be a challenge. Don’t miss an opportunity to help someone else because you weren’t really listening.
Pay attention. Be in the moment. Put your phone down – and make sure you’ve heard what people are saying to you. Repeat it if necessary. And let them know you care. It could save the life of someone you love.
And if you need help, remember Next Chapter is available. The health and wellness program is designed to meet the needs of military members, veterans, and their families. Call Next Chapter. We’re listening.